Love Less or Love Best

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Somewhere along the journey we find ourselves on, we almost always have those few things we wish we could take back. How wonderful would it be to just turn back the hands of time, to press rewind and start again? Sometimes erasing what happened all together seems most appropriate. We all undoubtedly come to those cross sections, where we know in order to get to the next phase of our lives we have to accept what is and move on to what now can be. We realize and acknowledge our mistakes to work through them. However, only to quickly realize that fresh start we are steadily progressing toward isn’t so easy of a task to come by anymore.

Why is it that even after we’ve asked for forgiveness of our wrong doings that there always seems to be that one person that can’t just let it go? Here we are working through the things we’ve done diligently and wholeheartedly, only to feel the sting of sin all over again every time someone brings it up. It’s the story people can’t stop talking about and the wound they refuse to let heal. The weight you were so sure you had let go of, somehow ends up right back where it was before. Kicked down, you find yourself in those brief moments, pausing, to even stand up once more for fear you’ll end up right back in that same place. The fight then for many becomes too much to bear and the hope for a better day is lost yet again.

Why is it that God can cast our sins into the sea of forgetfulness when we’ve done wrong, but we can’t seem to forget ourselves? We force our hand at our own justice, causing the beauty of hope to run dry. I have found that the risk you run in tearing people’s sins out from under the blood is very dangerous. You in turn create a long dark road for yourself to walk down. For by the same measure of judgment you cast, so will you too be judged. So please, don’t let your love grow cold when there is a world so in need of some sunshine.

28 thoughts on “Love Less or Love Best”

  1. A person who cannot forgive, is a person who has forgotten what they’ve been forgiven of.

    I love your passion for this, as I share the same passion. Very good, Rach.

    1. Kristen-

      I love you best friend!!!!!!!!!!!! John Bevere’s book the “Bait of Satan” should be a must read for everyone.

    2. That’s a great interpretaion. Us Christians are the great evaluators within, to strive to get rid of sin, bad stuff, or at least keep a righteous balance in our lives. Opening our ears to hear what the Spirit leads us to do is where heavenly gold is. A random act of kindness to someone you dont even know. We are filled with the Spirit to make someone’s day someway, somehow. Never judge someone else’s walk with the Spirit(Christ). That in itself is making a difference in the world.

      A man walking out of walmart saw a lady trying win a stuffed animal for her daughter. He looks and sees he can win her a bouncy ball. So he has a choice, “Do I keep going and not worry about it? Or go and put fifty cents in the machine and grab a purple ball because purple is royalty and she is a princess, (remember this guy is a stranger to her and visa versa). The man wins the ball, turns to the young daughter and tosses it to her. Now when you’re led with the Spirit like that – well, that, in heaven is GOLDEN my friend. Peace.

      1. Rachel, keep it up! I love your blog. We love you here in Nigeria. Though a very single young banker, I’m still hoping for that woman in my life.

  2. I love this! Prob my favorite so far, God has already forgiven our sins but we’re the ones that can’t seem to move past them into what He has called us to be. We become cold because we can’t let go of our past, so we hide our love and passions because we don’t want to risk another mistake being made. We have to remember that everything really does happen for a reason, and therefore we must move on knowing that. The past is the past for a reason, and nothing we do can change it but we can choose to let it help us and not hurt us that is they key component. Anyways thanks Rach, good stuff! Keep it up 🙂

  3. Good article. I like your hypotheticals; however, I think that a more detailed concrete example would make your message more relatable to the reader.

    1. Casey-

      I love how you tried to pretend like you didn’t post this! I’m just glad you are coming to read my posts : )

  4. We can’t get back anything, that was already washed by Blood of Jesus. There is nothing left any more, only a clear page. Keep going forward. You are a wonderful writer Hun!!! God bless you! I loved it!!! God job!!!

  5. I love that, ya know? You nailed it right on the head. A huge thing for me to surrender (and it isn’t all gone either) is the right to be right. Pride. I’ve found that as I suck it up, humble myself and allow situations to unfold; I gain advantage point. God was, is, and will continue to be on the Throne. We as human beings tend to try and perfect matters, at least I do. And God is right there to gently let me know that David, you aren’t perfect nor will you ever be! Live your life and enjoy the ride. God sees everything through every situation with every person. Even more so to the one’s that call on His name! I suppose my only idea as to why we judge or are harder on ourselves is due to the fact that we live in a me me me, self absorbed society whose number one interest to make & keep happy is ‘us.’ I really enjoyed your writing! Keep up doing what you’re doing:-)

  6. Definitely love BEST – not less!

    What I have found out late in life is just how much God loves me. I mean REALLY loves me. It is not until you truly understand His love are you able to forgive yourself and others. Many Christians have been brought up in churches and families, accepting Jesus, being told about who God is, but have never experiened Him for themselves; others have grown up in churches and families having accepted Jesus; and yet, are not growing in Him by learning of Him…so they do not know who He really is. Until you really come to KNOW Jesus, you will be an easy target for the devil and your flesh. If a person really knows how much Jesus loves them, AND the whole world, they can forgive themselves as well as others. It then becomes easy to forgive others.

    The more you study the Word and learn what Jesus actually did for you on the cross it changes your whole mindset – your whole life. 🙂 It is never too late, you are never to old; and you are never to young. Why not sit down and visit with Him TODAY. He is ALWAYS waiting to talk to you. He wants you FREE! 🙂

    1. Diana-

      I just couldn’t agree more with you. How simple but yet how profound! Thanks for your feedback it is much appreciated! I think people forget sometimes the concept of grace and it just frustrates me to no end. My prayer is that I would always air on the side of grace, because its something I’ve already been given, even though I never deserved it to begin with.

  7. PS: a huge part that I left out was forgiveness! I finished quickly, got to church and realized that I didn’t mention the power of forgiveness. (Or the power that UNforgiveness holds). Wow. When a person catches the reality of that principle; hello Liberty & Freedom! And there lies that ‘right to be right.’ Basically, to sum up the matter of Forgiving (from the heart) is this: My debt to God is greater than any debt man owes me! (The Lord’s prayer) For now…


  8. Lord, make me am instrument of your peace.
    Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
    Where there is injury, pardon;
    Where there is doubt, faith;
    Where there is darkness, light;
    Where there is sadness, joy.
    Oh my Divine Savior, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
    To be understood as to understand;
    To be loved as to love.
    For it is giving that we receive;
    It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
    It is in dying that we are born into eternal life.

    God Bless you and your ministry

  9. I’ve been divorced for about 7 months now, it has been so hard to forgive my ex. When I think I have been able to forgive, here comes ol’ Satan. Very mean thing! But with the help of our Lord Jesus Christ and his blood shed for us, it is getting easier and easier to forgive myself and my ex. After 15 years of marriage, sickness in my life, he chose to sin hard. I gave myself to the Lord one month to the day after he left me to live with his girlfriend (not even married yet for 2 years) but I have grown so much from this with the Lord’s help!!!! I will survive this because Jesus is with me and He will not let me down!!!!!!!!

    1. Martha-

      Thanks so much for sharing some of what you’ve been through with everyone. I know there are a lot of people that can relate to some of things you mentioned. Life can be tricky sometimes and I have found that it doesn’t always go the way we expected. I have never been through something like that, but I can only imagine how painful it could have been.

      I don’t think sin is weighted though, there’s not one that is worse than another. So when you say he “sinned hard” I think regardless a sin is still just that, a sin. I don’t think there is a time when someone sins “hard” then when they sin “soft”. We love to categorize sin and I think that’s one of the hardest things I personally had to get over in learning to practice forgiveness.

      I think we forget that no matter what we do or have done we all deserved hell from the beginning and still do for that matter. The Lord would be 100% just if that’s what he decided, but he still chose to redeem us through the death of his son. Once we realize what we deserved and better yet what we’ve been forgiven of in the first place the worst thing we can do is not share the same forgiveness with others.

      Next time you have trouble forgiving do your best to think back to what you have already been forgiven of and I promise your attitude will change real fast. No one ever said it was easy, but it’s the only sure way to be set free from the pain you feel. I will be praying for your continued healing and restoration from this relationship. I’m so proud for how far you’ve come. That takes a strong woman to let go and move on especially without the bitterness.

      1. Thank you Rach, that is what I have been struggling with, forgiveness! In my struggle that is what I have been going through, to forgive myself as Jesus has forgiven me. Thank you also for the prayers!!

  10. Isn’t God absolutely amazing? He can wash it all away, and we know this, but sometimes we can never seem to just let things die. We give it mouth to mouth resuscitation – but the blood!

    Lovely post 🙂

  11. I saw the re-broadcast of John Bevere’s message on Offense from the Finding Freedom: Refreshing Times Conference several weeks ago (first time I’d heard of his Bait of Satan book) right when I had been struggling to let an offense go – I forgave, prayed blessing on the people, asked God to show me how best to love them when I saw them again, and moved on.

    I thought I was doing well, but here I am weeks later dealing with it all over again! For me, I’ve found that the hardest people to forgive and love and NOT judge or criticize are those who seem to frequently judge or criticize me or try to prove to me how “right” they are. As someone mentioned above, that’s when it’s hard to “surrender your right to be right…your pride,” but when you do, leaving them in God’s hands, that’s where the freedom comes – when we allow the Jesus Who prayed “Father forgive…” even as those who put Him on the cross mocked Him to “Love best” and forgive through us while remembering how much we’ve been forgiven, we immediately break that cycle of judgment & criticism, escaping Satan’s trap – free to love even more! It depends on the translation, but the scripture God keeps bringing to me in these situations is Luke 7:23 in the Amplified:

    “…blessed is he who takes no offense in Me and who is not hurt or resentful or annoyed or repelled or made to stumble [whatever may occur].”
    If I am in Christ, I’ve lost my right to “be right” – there can be no offense, and I am now blessed and free to Love.

    Thanks for reminding us.

  12. I think forgiveness is one of the toughest things that everyone struggles with! I myself have troubles forgiving people. The most hard thing for me is forgiving myself for what I have done. I struggle with cutting 6 years ago, it was terribly bad, but not good nonetheless. To this day I look at where I am and what God has blessed me with and I wonder why He has done this for me. What did I do for Him to want to rescue me?

    Then I just remember His Grace and Mercy. God has pulled me out of everything that I have done in my past and He has forgiven me way before I ever did anything wrong. I just love how he does that. God is so wonderful, powerful, forgiving, and He is just the breath of life!

    As I said in the beginning forgiving people is a hard thing to do. I have a friend who is dealing with forgiving themself and that sin just keeps slipping in someway or another. I was talking with them and I told them we have the mind of Christ in us. WE are everything that God is because He created us in His own image, therefore we can do ANYTHING that God can do. My friend will talk down about themselves and it isn’t good. They are a Christian and have a great relationship with God, but because they are being blessed and have favor on them they think that they aren’t even worth our friednship. It is hard to see and hear them say those kind of things about themself.

    I told them because we have the mind of Christ we need to think like God does. Would GOd ever say we don’t deserve our friendship? Would He ever tell us we are not worth anything? Would God ever say ‘I am disappointed in you?’ No. God says, ‘I have forgiven you, my child. I love you so much that I sent my only Son to die for you. I know your name by heart, and with every ounce of love I have never wanted to see you perish. You are worth living for!’

    I think God is SO gracious to forgive us of our wrong doing and to bless us when we don’t deserve it. God is just so amazing and I am in awe of Him everytime I think of Him. God will help me, my friend, and everyone else to learn how to forgive. I am excited to see when that all comes into action.

    I think the hardest person we have forgiving is ourself. Thank you, God that you have given us the power to forgive ourselves!

    I just wanted to share that with you, I hope it wasn’t too long of a reply.

  13. I really liked this article you wrote! Being able to forgive is being set free. You hold yourself in bondage when you dig your heels deeper into your stubborn fits of anger. One of the hardest things is letting go and moving forward, and maybe even the hardest is letting an offense go. I love that quote from mean girls about “sucking out the snake venom.” At times like these, to forgive is not just forgiving that person or persons, but forgiving yourself. And as I like to call it, sucking out the venom.

  14. Hi Rachel, I just read your blog for the first time after seeing the add on TV, it’s super cool. One of
    the greatest battles I have had in my Christian life is forgiving myself! God has really helped me in this area, the key is knowing God more, the more you no him via the word the easier it is to give yourself and others another chance. And I realized that when we judge ourselves and others harshly our God is not pleased! Daystar is a blessing to us in NIGERIA.

  15. I went thru your post and it’s so inspiring! I guess the reason we don’t forget is because we are human, but God is God. He gives us a clean sheet every time! Not just removes the sheet, he shreds it! Our God is an Awesome God!!!

  16. Hi Rachel,
    Was just passing by after seeing the ad, its very inspiring! I loved it. You are gifted with so much insight. Keep posting!
    Gob Bless.

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