Life, Relationships

It Takes Two!

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Have you ever found yourself just so sick and tired of being sick and tired? I think it’s something we all experience at some point in our lives. It’s that feeling we wish would just go away but seems to linger in the hallways of our mind for ages.

Drama has a way of doing just that, sucking us in and then spitting us out. We are left battered and torn by the battle of the fight. Many times we make it through stronger but more often we are left scarred by the experience. The lasting effects we secretly wear, hidden until we are forced to deal with them in another relevance. It’s the mistrust, the fear and, of course, the insecurities that plague us in facing the next relationship.

While we are so prone to always want to respond to drama, I have found that the fight solely comes at your discretion. No matter how angry, upset, or willing the other person is to engage in the conflict, it’s all in your hands. There can be NO fight if you choose not to participate. When you choose not to respond, the other person is totally disarmed, left to figure it out by themselves. If they continue, their campaign of bitterness becomes no longer a fight, but rather an attack.

There are always going to be people that are going to want to put you through it, for them fighting seems like the only way they know to deal with their issues. However, if you choose to withdraw your sword, you are left with a better chance at healing the hurts you’ve already experienced. Walking away can so often be perceived as being weak, but to me it’s only the strongest of people that can let go and move on.

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The Real Enemy

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I’m sure if I asked you to think of someone you hated, it wouldn’t take long for a few names to pop in your head. Wait, did I just say “hate”? Yes, I already know some will deny the existence of such a strong emotion. We very well pretend sometimes like we don’t hate anyone, because of course the severity of such a statement can be looked down upon. So let me be a little more politically correct and say for some of you there are a few people I’m sure you could identify as people you “strongly dislike”. Regardless of what verbiage we use, we all know what I’m referring to.

Ultimately when it comes down to it, we are all different. Whether it’s our skin color, social status, job, or even our beliefs, we were each uniquely created. With so much diversity, come obvious opportunities for conflict to arise. It’s all in the routine of life; there are just some people we like and others not so much.

What I find so interesting though, is the “bond” that hate has the potential to create. No matter the severity of the hate we carry for another person, there is one thing I have found that can entice us to lay down the hard feelings. In the presence of a greater enemy, two that don’t get along are united by their common disgust of the person they hate more. All of a sudden all inhibitions go out the window and the focus of dislike is redirected entirely. Even though the alliance is virtually unwanted at the time, the bond it in turn creates can be great beyond measure.

What we fail so often to recognize is that we are engaged in a much greater war with a much greater enemy. Yet, we waste vast amounts of time and energy fighting with one another. If we could only comprehend that we are all fighting the same war, we could be united by the greater battle before us. It’s only then that we can make strides in defeating the greatest enemy we will ever face.

Relationships

The Free Fall

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So often we find ourselves disappointed in people. It’s as if they couldn’t do “this” good enough and there’s “that,” which is just way out of line. We get so upset and find that the let down can be overwhelming. Why do people constantly seem to let us down?

I have found that no matter the who or the what we deal with, each carries undeniable levels of expectations. Our boyfriend or girlfriend should be a certain way; our pastors another; and our families, well they carry obvious responsibilities. However, we can only blame ourselves for the disappointment we feel, as we are guilty of assigning people certain degrees we expect them to live up to. When they don’t, and most of the time they won’t, the resulting emotion is extremely unsettling. No matter how great someone is, no matter the esteem we hold them to, no matter what they’ve done, or even where they’ve been, puts them above our expectations.

The higher you put someone on a pedestal, the harder the fall, not only for you but for the other person. You are essentially setting yourself up for a most certain heartache when you have expectations for people. No one is perfect and as surely as they stand, they too can fall. Sometimes we can be so quick to judge that we forget that just as easily could have been us. So, if you want to help alleviate the pain, take people off the pedestal you’ve created for them, and replace them with the one person that has never fallen and never will.

Get to know Rachel Lamb, daughter of Marcus Lamb & Joni Lamb, by reading the popular "Let's Talk!" blog.