Relations of Relationships: Lonely No More

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It’s sad to see how far the heart will go to fight off its loneliness. Weather it has to travel to the depths of sacrifice, wrong choices, and even giving up something else– its pursuit is endless until it finds what it’s looking for. I feel as if it’s a natural desire to want that “special person” to be by your side. It’s comforting to know that someone loves you and even more to know that they will always be there. Why is it though that we go through so much hurt to find what no human being can even fill?

People go through relationships like it’s going out of style these days, not considering the consequences of such actions. The confusion of what’s right and even more whose right plagues my generation.  We date for fun and the games we play no textbook can explain, many not even understanding themselves. It’s difficult to fill the void of companionship as the “right guy/girl” seems to be disappearing before our eyes. As our world becomes darker as time grows old, fewer things seem to work, and we grow wearier.

Maybe a relationship is not the answer to the loneliness that so many battle. If a relationship with the Lord draws us to be consistent and faithful, then maybe it’s through our interaction with him that we can only learn what it truly means to be fulfilled. When we practice a right relationship with the right person (God), maybe finding that other half won’t be so hard.

53 thoughts on “Relations of Relationships: Lonely No More”

    1. YOU ARE SO VERY RIGHT WITH THE COMMENT, “THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP OF ALL IS THE ONE WE HAVE WITH OUR LORD & SAVIOUR ” WHEN WE GET THAT RIGHT ALL THE REST FALL INTO PLACE & ARE A CAKE WALK BY COMPARISON, DON’T YOU AGREE? 🙂 (WELL ALMOST ).

  1. Great blog, Rachel! I think people don’t know how much they’re loved by God and as a result they have to look elsewhere to gain a sense of identity. Everyone wants to be loved, and some have no idea where to look. A good question to ask God might be– What can I do to help hurting people?

  2. True! Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together and hardest thing in any relationship is to let go of what you thought was real…
    The most important relationship you can have is the one with God where His grace comes in to heal, restore and help. At the end He is the One who is always there!

    1. Thank you so much for these encouraging words,im going through a very hard time but you have made me realize how important my relationship with God is.thank u

  3. Hey Rachel i love your blog. I couldnt agree more i am a 20 year old male living in alaska and everything that you have put down in your blog is exactly what i am seeing with our generation. I have noticed this trend nationwide of just dating for fun. Ive never been like that and it seems like the girls that i have dated in my past which i have only dated 1 girl in my past and she basically was just playing a game when we were dating and i was truelly too dumb to see the truth. I try my best to have a good relationship with god i pray everyday go to church and try to keep a relationship there with god. I do admitt i really do seem to still struggle with fealing lonley at times. I think it is such a hard thing as a human i think we all desire to have someone to love and to love us. Anyways thank you for posting i really enjoyed reading it.

    1. Kyle-
      I’m glad you enjoyed this blog. Keep looking out for future blogs because I will definitely be writing more about relationships. I know exactly what you’re going through with feeling lonely, so know there are people out there in the same position. I think what helped me overcome that feeling was staying busy, picking a goal to focus on, and changing my perspective. I don’t want to get too much into this yet because I will be writing about “perspective taking” soon. Just know that the wait is worth it, because someday God will bless you with someone even greater than you ever imagined. Stay positive!

  4. I pray that young people as a whole will be reached by your messages. God is so great to have spoken to you and lead you to develop this blog young people. I would love to learn more about you and where you are in your walk with God. I think it will be encouraging to hear more from you and where God is calling you. God bless you.

    1. Amanda B.-
      Thank you for your sweet words! We are currently working on my “About Me” section so be looking out for that to learn more. I’m just a normal young person that faces and struggles with life like we all do. In writing this blog I hope to encourage people about things most aren’t talking about. I hope my “raw” since of writing can reveal my authenticity and my small insights of the world around me can provide wisdom for direction! Keep reading!

  5. Love your blog..!!!Its so true..I dont think you can truely love someone if you dont love yourself or God.Once you enter in a relationship with God feel his love the transformation begins.Then you can say I love because God loved me first…

  6. I am learning that “righteousness’ is positional, our legacy as the adopted children of God; my righteousness is because I am in Christ, not for any other reason…because i have the spirit of adoption, i can indeed trust that my Heavenly Father not only loves me and wants to bless me, but He wants me to trust Him completely as a child calls “Daddy!’ Jesus intercedes for me, the Holy Spirit prays when I myself don’t always know what to say, but I can go boldly bouncing into the mercy seat as a child goes before his Father, knowing that He will do what is best for me…in this relationship there is indeed rest and peace and joy…

    1. This is what the Lord has been teaching me lately. It’s heart-warming to see that how He is working similar things in so many different people. God bless you, Candice!

  7. Greetings in the name of our Lord Jesus
    Rachel my name is Bill Green and im writing to you to ask a HUGE FAVOR.. I have a back slidden daughter that is 22 she Loves God with all her heart but situations have messed her up . She is in party mode which she knows leads to destruction she has seen it in all of her relatives lives an what it did to me in my Before Christ days.. Divorce and many things have caused this issue but PRAYER can Fix it will you please pray for Ashley with me ?
    I am so Thankful for your mom and dads testimony and the GREAT WORK God has done through them 🙂 i want to give you ashleys facebook so you can maybe write her ok 🙂
    http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/profile.php?id=100001222243021
    Thank You Rachel
    Bill Green

  8. This made my day. I was just at the breaking point of why am I the one special girl who says NO to a special relationship. Every elder i know says im a leader an example for those who dont see it, but the truth is i dont feel that way about it. As much as i want that type of relationship i just seem to reject it when it comes my way. Now i realize its because im already in a relationship with my Lord and Savior and when the time is right He will bring me the right person.:)
    Thank youuuu!!!

  9. I was once lost now I am found! John 15:16 “you did not choose me I chose you and appointed youm that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you will ask of the Father in my Name, he may give it to you”
    I have been walking with Yahweh by HIS Holy Spirit now for 6 years 11 months and 7 days, never lonely never alone! Although I am waiting for the wife Yahweh has chosen for me!! SHALOM upon you and Jerusalem YahwehYahshuaOneLove

  10. This blog is sooooooooooo true 100%. However, me personally, I’ve always struggled w/ -all kinds of- relationships. I’ve been waitting on the Lord for 15 yrs. with no possitive results. That’s me, my own personal “situation” & its funny b/c it just came back to me today really bad, anyways. Nevertheless this IS a good blog.

  11. Very good Wisdom that you are learning at a young age…It’s not just your generation but the generations before you that have had the same problems in their walk with the Lord. It “appears” to be more prevalent in your age group because of the “openess” in “live-in relationships”…trial marriages to see if it’s going to work out. Older generations would have been done behind closed doors. Many did not learn or forgot and didn’t teach it to the younger generations that “Marriage” is a covenant. The Marriage covenant is a three-cord binding together (Man, Woman and God) into something that cannot be broken.

    Now I want to add to what you say by taking away: When we are in right relationship with the Lord, there is no “maybe” about it! It’s for certain! When He is first place, relationships with others will move in the right direction. When we possess and walk after Righteousness, the right person will show up at the right time for the right purpose. We don’t have to fear, worry or dread…just believe, trust the WORD, and obey what HE SAYS!

  12. I like this post. I think that as a society we are told that we have to have someone else to be whole but in reality I think we need to truly know ourselves before we become whole and find that special person to share ourselves with.

  13. Hey Rach, so happy to find ur blog!!
    Ur rite i agree, there’s nothing in the world but the Lords love that can fill that ,otherwise void empty,space in our life!
    I so believe ,if ud say that we are made with a space in our hearts , that only love can fill, and ie only love from God!!
    He fills us beautiful and also waitn for the real rite man seems like a breeze [dis cmg frm some1 hu hasnt met dat some1 who God has planned for her:-) ]

  14. Am blessed to know about your blog. Its my very first time to see it. and well, its encouraging. I just saw your website in day star. I am blessed to read more on your blog. And this blog, I agree with you that the most important thing is yet to build a closer relationship with the Lord and their it is much easier to find that right man to be with you in one with God. God’s blessing of the right man/woman is much better than what we want or like. This is really great. Would love to have communication with you Ma’am. God bless you!

  15. You are so right…God First then everything else will follow, thats what I live by,cause God open so many doors for me when I surrender myself to him and I LOVE it……

  16. Thank you for these encouraging words. Your writing is truly a blessing from God. It fills my heart to read such wonderful testimonies of God’s promises and his love for us.
    My boyfriend and I have a truly blessed relationship, but we are aware that we do not always put God at the centre of our relationship. We were praying that God will always be at the centre of our relationship, as that is the only way it will grow.

  17. Rachel
    So true! JESUS is the true lover and he is soooooooooooo satisfying. He definiely wants us to have good, holsum relationships. Yet, I have a concern regarding meaningful and lasting relationships. A healthy relationship can not exist without having RESPECT for one another, I firmly believe when the essence of respect is exercised we will begin to see and experience glorious and fabulous relationship across the board. When we are thirsty for humanity it is fleeting but being thirsty for Jesus is fulfilling. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

  18. Awesome Blog! Stay close to Yeshua (Jesus) with all your might! The scriptures say “Love The Lord with all your heart, mind, and soul.” In this day and age, is so important to tread carefully in relationships. Proceed with caution! Involve God in everything that you do because it appears that the days are dark and it will only get worse. An important note to remember is that a human being can never meet that deep inner need that we all have. Only Yeshua Messiah (Jesus) can do that. He alone truly has that greater love. If mistakes are made, repent immediatly and run to Jesus. Soul ties are nothing to play with and are excrutiatingly painful. “By His stripes we are made whole.” Isaiah 53.
    I have even seen older people still wandering, searching, and sadly enough; being burnt by the enemy as a result of compromise. John states, “Be strong, be vigilant; for your enemy,the devil, prowls around like a lion looking for whoem he may devour.” – Be encouraged!

  19. The part about sacrificing things to have a relationship, is really true. So much you find people giving up things they thought they never would until marriage. It’s hard when you feel it’s right, but know it’s wrong.

  20. this is so true. I wanted someone so bad I did whatever it took even if it was ruininq my relationship with God to get it. But if I was only patient he has the best for me and the right companion for me. Now I was married and now gettinq divorced bc I tried to do God’s job. Now I know I need to just seek his kingdom first and everythinq else will be added. Now I’m not worried about who am I gonna be with. I just want to be in right relationship with God and that’s all for now

  21. one of the biggest issues that i have come to notice in our generation even as children of GOD is that we have been so much influenced by what we see what we listen to and this has made us go from one relationship to another and most of the times we are trying to fufill ourselves through other people but not knowing that the first important relationship before everyone else is the one with God and its good to be madly in love with him i say this cause i have once messed up but he gave me a new start and to know that i have been bought at high price christ had too die for me to be a child of GOD to be accepted it makes me feel highly favoured but most of all that my body is the living temple of God and that his spirit lives in me but the important thing about this is GOD is not happy if i get intimate with every guy that i go out with i have to wait for the one he has designed for me like adam a rib was removed to create eve i dont think GOD would have removed 3 ,4 ribs to create other women for him to first test and then saw the same way GOD designed 1 for adam i believe he did the same for each one of us last word seek ye first the kingdom of GOD and its righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you so just continue seeking

    remain faithful

    tj

  22. Hi,
    You sure seem wise for your age. I lost my husband last year. Sept.13 2010 made a year so it’s been about 14 months. We were married 35 yrs. People look at me and say they want to see a birth certificae b/c they think I’m not the age I say I am. In some way they are right, b/c I don’t feel it at all. I’m too young to be alone. If you find the answer please let me know. I’m not in my 60’s, 70’s, or 80’s so please pray God will find that Godly man for me. Thanks for sharing this page with us. And let me know if you find the answer. Being alone is not the best feeling on the planet.

  23. Hi Rachel,
    I really enjoyed your insight and wisdom regarding relationships. Reading this has encouraged me with an issue that I am currently dealing with. I pray that God will continue to use you to be a blessing to others as you are currently doing!

  24. Hi Rachel, the comment I have for this blog about relationships is that we get lonely because we want to become what is going on around us. If nobody was in a relationship then it wouldn’t be such a big deal to not be with someone. If married people were the only people who were in a relationship then we would want to be married. We are creatures of habits and we adapt to our surroundings. So if our surroundings and our focus’ are of people who are in relationships and we are not in one we will feel lonely. So change the surroundings and change the focus. If your not involved in something that is bigger than you and more important than you, you will feel lonely.

  25. Rachel, I believe that it is so important that you are speaking out for your generation and peers. So many are searching for the right things to believe and follow. To many, it’s as if they are looking for a secure ground on which to base their decisions on. Of course you and I know where that foundation of truth lies, in Jesus. The only thing I wanted to comment on about your “relationship” blog was this: I remember a very insightful preacher that told me that “instead of looking for another half to complete ourselves, why don’t we develop as the “wholes” that God would want each of us to be…then there would no longer be anymore “halves” looking for other halves but whole people coming together to achieve the goals and dreams God has for them.”
    So to any who read my comment and still have questions, turn to the Lord and ask him what it will take to complete the WHOLE you and all the while he will prepare another whole man or woman of God for you to be with.

  26. I wish I would have been open to this about relationships when I got saved at 15. But I did not follow the Lord and kept looking to fill that void in men and destructive behavior. I am now 54 and I know that God is the only one to fill me and others. I pray for all the lost and hurting people tonight that don’t know this truth. Thankyou for your blog I learn so much from the young people!!

  27. Hey Rachel! God’s ways are complete opposite to the flesh’s and I think that’s why we struggle so much to choose what’s right. Relationships look appealing; thanks Rachel for the blog. I found it quite encouraging.

  28. Rachel, please may you connect me to someone who can sponsor my college education, classes will be commencing in February 2011. I have just been offered a place at college here in Malawi. if you can please do it and God will bless you. If fact I have no one to support my education, that I do not want to miss this chance. The whole program will cost $14000. Please call me on +265(0)999216201/888318610 for more information. I need your support, please Rachel.

  29. Rachel, I agree 100%. I am in a personal relationship with Jesus. I sometimes think I need someone by my side right away. Having read your writing, I know my personal relationship with Jesus is not where it needs to be to enter into another relationship. Thank you for writing. I feel better about waiting. I am not near ready yet. Sometimes I feel like time is running out. I know know it is ok. I am fine. I am on Gods’ time…NOT the worlds time… lol. Thank you Jesus!

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