So often we find ourselves disappointed in people. It’s as if they couldn’t do “this” good enough and there’s “that,” which is just way out of line. We get so upset and find that the let down can be overwhelming. Why do people constantly seem to let us down?
I have found that no matter the who or the what we deal with, each carries undeniable levels of expectations. Our boyfriend or girlfriend should be a certain way; our pastors another; and our families, well they carry obvious responsibilities. However, we can only blame ourselves for the disappointment we feel, as we are guilty of assigning people certain degrees we expect them to live up to. When they don’t, and most of the time they won’t, the resulting emotion is extremely unsettling. No matter how great someone is, no matter the esteem we hold them to, no matter what they’ve done, or even where they’ve been, puts them above our expectations.
The higher you put someone on a pedestal, the harder the fall, not only for you but for the other person. You are essentially setting yourself up for a most certain heartache when you have expectations for people. No one is perfect and as surely as they stand, they too can fall. Sometimes we can be so quick to judge that we forget that just as easily could have been us. So, if you want to help alleviate the pain, take people off the pedestal you’ve created for them, and replace them with the one person that has never fallen and never will.
Very true thanks for sharing!
Wow that is a sobering blog. Time to time we as human beings are imperfect in a lot of ways find dissapointment in ourselves. We don’t meet our expectations of who we think we should be. We fail ourselves and the ones closet to us. Then a root of bitterness within grows. I know and believe forgiveness is for us. I myself have failed myself and others. It’s only through God that we can be restored and take that restoration and offer it to those who have failed us in this life. Paul said “we have received the ministry of reconciliation”. But good blog! Post more 🙂
Randy Molina-
I think that was a great summary of my blog! I’m so happy you followed it so correctly. I just posted my new blog for the week, check it out : )
Along that subject is a book that John Bevere wrote called the Bait of Satan. It sure did give me a lot of wisdom to implement into my life.
Thanks for writing about something that is a part of all our lives at some time or another!!
Dear Rachel,
Yea, high expectations can be tedious depending who is receiving or giving it. But for a reason high expectations are there, and not everyone meets them. Having high expectations for yourself and others around can be a journey of success or of disaster. It all depends how you look at it. If love is in it, then you can be sure that success will follow. In my opinion, if you want to be extraordinary your expectations must be higher than those of the ordinary. For that reason Jesus Christ was an extraordinary figure in history, who impacted many. But imagine if Jesus was just a rabbi for his village, how much of an impact would have he been?
Emmanuel-
I understand what you are trying to say, but I think I’ll have to disagree. When you have expectations of anything, no matter the case, you are setting yourself up for a possible let down. Think of it this way, I could have high expectations of myself to go and get my MBA, but if for some reason I didn’t accomplish that goal I would be extremely upset I didn’t meet my expectations of myself. The Bible talks about how we are supposed to do everything we do as we are doing it unto the Lord. It’s not that we need to have higher expectations, rather we are called to live to a higher standard of morality. I think there is a distinct difference between standards and expectations. Let me know what you think : )
Rachel-
I understand what your trying to say, but I have to disagree in some parts. When we have high expectations, there is a possibility of it being a success or a let down. That is why high standards are necessary. It is true that expectations and standards are not the same, but together united with love, the possibility of a let down is lower, and success higher. You can not have low standards and high expectations or vice versa. For example, I want to get my MD, but in order for that to happen, I need to setup standards and expectations to reach that goal. And we can not forget about love, because love is God, and when He is at the center of our lives we know He will never fail us. By the way, one of my highest expectations is to talk to you personally. Well tell what you think, overall. 🙂
Hi Rachel,
I like the free fall, it remind my past….and thanks for this nice message, it can learn more!!!God bless you always
Oh my god that is so true now days people are like that thanks for sharing this good message an rachel love an godbless you. 🙂
Dear Rachel,
That was awesome girl it is so true and how also we need to guard our hearts and close any doors that might have been left open and un attended. Cause if we don’t we are setting ourselves up for a fall as well as emotions and anything like the carnal being taking over. People need to allow the spirit man to grow from this meaning the words we chew need to be nutritional to the spirit not word’s that are seeds of idleness or distruction to our faith or to the Holy Ghost. We grow and learn from all this as a humble and teachable person. God bless you keep on going, you are fueling the fire in many hearts!
“The higher you put someone on a pedestal, the harder the fall;”
This is so true; This just happend to me & it was rough. The good thing is that
I have a replacement now & that replacement is GOD!; Thanks for sharing rachel.
God bless ya.♥
Very good word Rachel.. Keep pressing in as you continue being real, raw and honest in a pure state of transparency as you are.. The Heavenly Father is going to unveil many things to you as you continue these blogs since you are surrendering to growing and being open to the guidance of his spirit as you are willing to be vulnerable before his presence in your own brokenness that takes place in ones life..
I knew this one was going to be good! 🙂 Man will always fail, which is why it’s best to put the best of our hope in God… while that may be best, it’s not always easiest. Love Free Fall. Very insightful.
Hello dear, sorry 4 d informality but d blog was GOOD. God is only worth relying on and most times we humans blame others 4 our mistakes. It’s time 4 us 2 take RESPONSIBILITY 4 our actions.Thumbs up girl and have a nice day.
GIRL. YOU ARE SO RIGHT. LOVIN THIS ENTRY RIGHT HURRRR AND LOVINNN YOUUUU.
Our focus then should be on Jesus and not on people.
Rachel, This is so true, time after time I inadvertingly do this and have to be reminded we are just human and why do I continue to expect better when we live in a fallen world? I don’t realize this until I get agitated and can’t right then put my finger on “it” then the ah ha moment hits and I realize I put a unrealistic expectation on someone. Consideration I would call it, yet my feelings get in the way of the truth. Relationships are so complicated at times I want to hide under the bed. God help me realize the truth that is the only thing that will set me and the other person free. God Bless you , keep writing 🙂
I love the name of this blog! The “Free Fall” from the pedestal. The higher your up the harder you fall! Great Job Rachel! Keep up the great work RL!
Oh my god that is so true an now days peoples friendship barely even last so thanks for sharing this good message an godbless you. 🙂
hey friend you are right in every of your discussion one have to be focus in life………the best thing that can resolve the situation of life is to do your best and leave the rest 4 God
I pray God give’s us the strength to overcome any obstacle in our ways in Jesus name (Amen)
Super 🙂
Hi rachel, how are you? I think that this is great and inspirational. My ex-boyfriend and I (at the time when i was dating him last year) went through something. Because he spoke so much word of God to me and knew so much about the Lord, I assumed he didn’t have any major issues to worry about in his life. He ended up bringing in more drama including many lies, drinking, sexual immorality of all sorts, control and physical abuse. He originally told me that “the spirit of God has delivered me from my past.” I ended up believing him and trusted his word that he was over everything and wouldn’t bring anything into my life. Boy, was I surprised when he fell back on his word and soon came on to me not long after we started dating. I was so angry after all the mean things he ended up saying to me. I realized that all he cared about was sex and having his own way all throughout a relationship. He wanted me all to himself and i couldn’t have any friends or even talk to my family when I wanted. I definetly had to get away from him! lol But anyway, i guess I had to learn that just b/c a person knows so much about Christ and the Word, doesn’t mean that their lives are lined up with His Will. he conformed to more sin than I ever expected and never loved me for me the way that God originally intended for a man to love a woman. He used me for his own doings, but when he realized that he couldn’t turn me out the way that he thought he could, he walked away. I guess he realized at that moment that he couldn’t take a woman’s standards away from her if she already has them set. I’m glad that he never got what he wanted. However, I also realized that i will never lower boundaries just to fit a man in the picture. Just because they tell you that they are in love with the Lord and give you this Holy Ghost speech about how they’re saved, doesn’t guarantee that it’s going to work out in a relationship with a woman. I learned to set up tight boundaries so that I don’t have to deal with the typical issues that men and women get caught up in at an early age. Because I don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, never had sex, and never been married, it only makes sense to marry someone with those same boundaries. After getting involved with the wrong man, I learned to set standards tightly so I don’t necessarily have to deal with crazy issues that they usually bring in. I learned to be aware of issues like drinking, smoking, drugs, fornication/shacking history, marital issues from his past, gambling and homosexual issues that could stem from his past, rape/abuse/molested/hit/lie to woman in his past, baby momma drama, and jail history and religious background. My ex-boyfriend was involved in most of those issues and didn’t tell me that he was dealing with while I was dating him. So, I had to go through some things in order for me to see that I need to check out those crucial areas in his life before I even begin to date again. He also didn’t respect the fact that I was getting on my feet. At the time, I didn’t have a car and I just graduated college. So I had no money at the time and was still living with my parents. He used those issues to dump on me and try to take advantage of my life. However, he didn’t get away with much. Thanks for writing about the tree fall because sometimes I tend to put people in my life on a pedistal without intentionally doing it. I have to remember that everyone makes mistakes and we all need God’s grace and mercy to carry us through. I thank God that He erased the bitterness from my heart, because when a man hurts a woman, women tend to stay bitter about those issues. I tell girls my story about what I went through so that they can learn from my mistake and never get themselves caught up with the wrong man. I remember Donnie Mcclurkin’s song “We Fall Down, but we get up. For a saint is just a sinner who fell down and got up. I have to remember that everyone messes up. I guess the reason that I was so shocked was because you don’t expect the one who claims that they love you to every hurt you. Ironically, the ones who are closest to you are the ones who hurt you the most. It was a learning lesson for the both of us. I learned how to set up tight boundaries and he learned that if a woman has standards already set that she grew up on, a man can’t turn her out and get what he wants. Thanks a million for telling us about the tree rachel. Bye-Shay
Rachel you’re right on the money. I feel like that a lot of time. If I do something right or make sure I please everyone doing this and doing that, or/saying if you can do that, you could’ve done that too. But one little mistake and I feel let down. I’m not perfect, I’m not God. I only do the best I can. God is my only witness cause he knows this too. Thanks a lot, Rachel. God bless!!!
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